Christmas Gift: A month too soon January 31, 2008

Christmas day has arrived.

I got loads of good presents this morning.  Something is bugging me still….my cold. I can not feel the baby moves but may be I am being paranoid.

I think I’m going to see my Ob again today after this morning and opening the presents.  I need to see him somehow…

My sister offered to drive us (my husband and I) to the hospital.

This time we went to see the OB and I told him the baby did not move for a day. He was alarmed I can see. Check the baby’s heart rate out and told me to go to scan.

Here we go, another scan with the same doctor last week.  The baby is fine but with cord around his neck. His assumption is the baby might be too big to move.

Back to see the OB. He convinced me that it is best to take the baby out. If the baby doesn’t move, that is enugh sign to take him out.

OH NOOOOO!  I refused, reluctant and rejected the idea. I don’t want to ruin my Christmas dinner for me and everyone else.  He wouldn’t let me go and finally I gave in….

I started shaking uncontrollably from then onwards, rather embarrassing for myself but I can not stop!  They wheel me into the waiting room to monitor the heartrate while waiting for 3pm , 6 hours from my breakfast.

I had to fill forms in bed. My husband was in and out. I was still caughing, of course.

3pm: they wheel me into the delivery room. All I was asking and focusing was where was my husband and will he know which room I was in.

Throughout the epidural, I was asking these questions repeatedly, shaking of course and very scared.  I never had any needle injected in me without my husband (except before I met him- then I had my mum’s hand to hold).  They had to inject something to calm me down otherwise they can not put the needle in me.

The doctor and my husband arrived almost the same time and he started working on  me almost straight away.

The baby wasn’t crying. I asked why and no one could answer my question.  He then cried. THANK GOD!  My husband was crying and I saw the baby, MY SON!

Week 36- not moving January 31, 2008

We had fondue last night with my sister’s family and my parents. Love it!

The next morning I noticed he was too quiet for my liking. I was on gmail to my husband and he told me to go see the OB. So I did.

In fact I went with my aunt who offered to come with me and met her intern student who is now a specialist in scanning (how do you call that?) as well as an OB.  We decided to have a scan and the baby is fine. The panic is over so we came home for a Korean Barbecue.

It must be the pill I took for my cold that makde him quiet down. The cold is still as bad as ever.

Bloody cold! January 31, 2008

I had a bad cold, really bad since my week 35 and carried on having very bad cough since then.  I do not want to take any pills but I think I need to.  I then went to see my OB for it and hope it will help.

No it didn’t! I still carried on caughing especially late at night…very very badly.  I can not cope with it any longer. I need to get rid of this cold before my scheduled C section date which is 7th Jan.08. Only a 3 weeks away..

Week 34 December 7, 2007

YES WEEK 34!!!!

It seems like a life time away when I first knew I am pregnant. My fingers and legs are beginning to swelling a little. My tummy is hugh and I am beginning to find it difficult to breath or sit in the same position for a long time. I definitely have to sit in a good posture otherwise I will be kicked by my little bean.

Went to se the OB with my mum today, he said the baby is hugh, also he wants to have an ultrasound done next time I see him, which is in 2 weeks time.  We discussed the possible date of birth and agreed that I will need a schedule C-section if I want to prevent the risk of my huband missing the birth of our son. He’s working in Hong Kong while I am in Thailand at the moment.

So agreed on 7th January 2008.  Now I feel happy to know that I am back in control again. At least I get to decide when and how I will give birth. The uncertainty is the most annoying thing during pregnancy for me. Oh and also forgetfulness is another one that drives me up the wall.  Other symptoms I’m ok with.

So next time when I go to see the doctor my husband will be here for Christmas already and it will be 2 weeksaway from delivery date.

I AM SO EXCITED! But then is it too weired that I am scared of epidural and IV more than anything?

Again, I think I will be ok with damy husband being there holding my hand…..  

Week 26-30 November 10, 2007

I have been rather lazy since I came back from Hong Kong on my 26th weeks..

The journey was easier than I expected. Mainly because I travelled Business class and I have my mum coming with me. My husband will come to see me in a week time since it will be the last long weekend in October.  So I wasn’t that sad.

I couldn’t eat much apart from vegetable and fruits.I’m not sure because of state of my mind or what. It is very unusual for me since I always eat too much when I was on holiday in Thailand previously.

I was looking forward to seeing my husband and it was wonderful to see him again. The hardest part was when he left. He did not allow me to go to the airport to see him off for various reasons. So I saw him off at home, in the back of the car.  When he closed that door, it was like someone took my heart away from my body. I couldn’t speak for a while but the pain was too much to cry…..

I started to go swimming every other day on week 27. I began to find things to do to occupy my time, including making soft toys for my baby.  I heard that babies love the contrasting colours especially black and while. So I made black and white little toys.

My husband came to see me again on week 29. This time he was drunk from drinking vodka on the plane on top of a couples of beer before he left Hong Kong.  It was the last day with his previous company but I was still annoyed by it.  Having said that it means that he was unhappy. And he was.  He did not like his previous company that much plus he was on his own.

I decided the next day that I will fly back with him to be with him for a week or 2.  But then he thought about it and decided that he must try to be strong and shouldn’ t put my health or baby’s at risk.  We are living expats lives. I stay where I think I will get most help and it is Thailand.  If I were to give birth in Hong Kong especially by C-section, I would not be able to get up and do much without help, not that I know what to do with the baby anyway. This is our first baby.

Anyway, he joined his new company, very busy with works but very happy. So I am happy now. Let’s see how long we can last without seeing each other.  Christmas is only 5 weeks away but anyhow we are only a plane away and if he needs to see me then all he has to do is come!

I went for a scan at 30 week so I can send him the photos of the baby.  The baby looks so happy in there and everytime I see him, I feel happy and relax knowing that he is strong, safe and happy to be in there with me, in my body. 

Week 21-24: It comes and goes September 24, 2007

Now I’m writing from my 3 weeks experience of baby’s movement….I don’t feel baby moves all the time every single day.  No, some day I an feel him, some day I only feel a couple of kicks every couple of hours. But on a good day, my god, the boy can move!

I was panic at first on the day I only felt the light kick but then the baby reassured me on the next day by kicking the hell out of me!

Nothing dramatic at all these weeks apart from seeing his face in 4D scan on the 22weeks. This time we can see him as almost as good as a new born baby’s face. So far, we decide that he’s got my husband’s nose and ears. But he has my cheeks and mouth.  A lazy baby from the scan but seems pretty content and happy enough in there.

Lullaby Lyrics September 5, 2007

Here are the songs that I found, practiced and memorised today.

Hush, little baby

Hush, little baby, don’t say a word.
Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbirdAnd if that mockingbird won’t sing,
Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ringAnd if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa’s gonna buy you a looking glassAnd if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa’s gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat won’t pull,
Papa’s gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull fall down,
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town

Rock a bye baby

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

The grand old duke of york

Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men;
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And he marched them down again.
And when they were up, they were up,
And when they were down, they were down,
And when they were only half way up,They were neither up nor down.

One Two Three

One, two, three, four, five,
Once I caught a fish alive,
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
Then I let it go again
Why did you let it go?
Because it bit my finger so.
Which finger did it bite?
This little finger on my right. 

Incey wincey spider

The incey-wincey spider
Climbed up the spout
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the incey-wincey spider
Climbed up again

Week 20. new place-new life September 5, 2007

We have now officially moved to Discovery Bay. We found a beautiful apartment with alomost 360 degrees view. It is a little bit stretch in terms of our budget so we decided that this year we will just forget saving money ( we still put aside a certain amount of money for our baby though) and cencentrate on enjoying our little life and our little baby without being a high flyer or eat out every single meal as before. We love this flat that much!

As soon as I moved in I was relax and happy. We have lived in Central Hong Kong last year- it’s time to have a calmer life.  I can eat now and begin to enjoy cooking as I did before I was pregnant.

I have no idea that one of my main reason that I couldn’t eat and not gaining weight during the past 5 months (even though the baby is big- God knows how) was due to the fact that I did not like the environment. We lived in a nice flat but the environment was bad, no view (or te estate agent calls it ‘building view’), bad cooking smell (no offense to our chinese friends).

With our current flat the back of our flat faces the mountain (nothing in between at all), front face the sea (with other buildings in front but we are on tope of the mountain, so nothing obstruct the view to the sea). During the day I can only hear the sound of the waterfall.  This is heaven.

The baby is still alive and kicking. I become less concern and begin to enjoy my pregnancy now. Today I even begin to practice lullaby lyrics and aiming to memorise the lyrics to welcome the birth of our baby. I feel for the first time as a mother when I sang the songs and can begin to imagine myself as a moher now.

But I still don’t want to start buying cot and all that to tempt faith……Old fashion I know.

Korea Trip and panic attack! September 5, 2007

We went to Korea at the beginning of week 19 to see my sister’s family, a short break from busy Hong Kong.  I asked my husband to come along with me on the last minute due to a sudden fear of the repeated experience like when we came back from Bangkok on our summer holiday. It was a big step for me when I went to the toilet after the plane has landed and found that it was no blood this time! None! Hooray!!!

I ate, drank ( non alcoholic drink – mainly water) and be married for 3 days.  We got an early flight back which meant that we had to get up around 6am after went to bed after midnight. I was pretty tired then.

I could not believe it! Our flight was cancled. But thank god they transfer us to Cathay Pacific flight with newer plane, same departure time. So I was alright but feel funny in my stomuch. I went to the toilet several times and began to panic if I was fit enough to fly. I was tired and worried which didn’t help.  It will be a 3 hour flight - didn’t sound too bad on paper.

I decided to go on as it will take as much time to go back in to Seoul.  We boarded the flight and the whole plane was packed.  I began to sweat but tried to calm down. As soon as the plane began to move, I felt like I was gonna faint. It was a tall order to be traped in the air for 3 hours. What do I do, what do I do?!!

My poor husband had to call the flight attendant and asked her if we can move to a better seat. I felt claustophobic and couldn’t breath. Unfortunately all the seats were full, every single one of them. She asked me to make a decision if I would like to go on or get off. But reassure me that as soon as the flight take off, the air condition will be cooler. So I tried to calm down and carried on. I must say they flight attendants were very nice, brought me water and hot towel and tried to calm me down.

Thank god with Cathay Pacific they have good inflight program on personal tv which helped me kill time. I couldn’t be more glad if I tried when we landed. I was still tired though and went to be at 5pm.  That’s a record!

One thing that is hard for me at the moment but I need to try is to make myself accept that I am pregnant. And pregnant women has less energy than normal women. Things I could do easily before became more difficult. I couldn’t skip meal nor over eating and expect to feel alright. I need certain hours of sleep and rest (2 different things may I add).

I’m trying…hard. 

He moves he moves he bangs he bangs September 5, 2007

Week 18-19

One afternoon, I was siting on the sofa with my computer on my lap. Suddenly I felt something flip in my stomuch. No it’s not gas. It was like the sensation of a fish flipping in the  water. I’m not sure why I thought of that but that was the closest feeling I can describe.

I think I knew immediately that it was the first movement of my baby I can feel.  I then sat up straight, took the laptop off my lap and got ready for a proper feel this ime but no it didn’t happen again. I text my husband straight away to tell him the news. He was of course, over the moon.

At night on that day, I felt him again when I laid flat on my back. This time my husband was there and felt my stomuch.  From then onwards, I can pretty much detect his movement.

Just for the record, he wakes up very early around 5-6am. then back to sleep. And woke up again between 11am. And agan around 2-3pm. Then woke up again around 5-6pm. and again around midnight.

We went for another ulrasounds and saw his legs which are pretty long and lean. He’s got my head profile and moves around pretty much. His fatty little body measured around 19.5 weeks old (we were only week 18 at the time). and had long fingers and beautiful hands that my ob recognised. His feet are 2.8cm. Big enough to make a point and kick his mummy!

Beautiful!