Outside the Box

Two years later

urnn — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 11:28:27 +0000

I can’t believe how long I left my blog and how time passes!

Now I have a brother for Stanley, Oliver is his name. He just turned 5 monthes old on the 9th April 2010….

We are now lving in Bahrain. Moved here since January 2009. We had a lovely time in Shanghai. Our apartment was beautiful and situated by the river in Pudong area. We can see the river from our window. I felt like it was my second home. Loved it loved it loved it there.

The only downside is that we have to lean Mandarin to communicatee with everyone i.e. the taxi driver, our ayi (maid). And oh we went through maid like anything until we found one we like, Jojia is her name (how I pronounce it anyway). She looks like a university student than a maid, eager to learn, loves Stanley and always do what she told. We went everywhere together (but not when I’m out with friends or during the weekend though).

The only downside is that we only stayed there for 6 monthes before my hubby has to move to Bahrain.

I arrived in Bahrain in January 2009. And by accident, I found out I was pregnant in March!

It went roughly compare to when I was pregnant with Stanley. I had an all day sickness (as in being sick as well) all day for the first 16 weeks. It was painful to feed Stanley certain food especially chicken nugget or strumbled egge. I had to hold my breathe while feeding him.

Anyway, Oliver arrived on the 9th November 2009, scheduled C-section. although he swallowed some fluiet when he came out so he had what they called wel lung and had to be in the incubator for 5 days.

Otherwise a healthy big baby (3.2kg) as can be.

This time we have a nanny whom travelled with us to Bahrain and helps us with Oliver. I have to give her some credit that Oliver turns out to be an easy baby. No need to rock himto sleep. Just hold him a little bit. And at night, just nurse and then put down. That easy!!!!

Oliver is a smiley baby which makes it easy to love him. If I be honest before Oliver was borned, I went through the period when I felt very sad for Stanley that he will have to share me with Oliver. Felt sad that the time for just the two of us had come to an end.

I found this on the internet.

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Almost half a year old!

urnn — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 03:48:06 +0000

My son is almost reaching 6 months now. he can roll around back to front and front to back. Being in a crawl position although not yet to be able to move and co-ordinate his movement but he’s getting there.

My concern is that what are we gonna do if he starts crawling. At the moment he developed a new habit of rejecting bottle so I am housebound and can not be away from him for more than 3 house. Quite clever of him though to get me like this. Also he has this anxiety of being away from me. I blame it to the fact that we are now moving AGAIN! We are moving to Shanghai, yes changing the country all together won’t won’t we?

So we are here back to sqaure one in Banngkok with me and Stanley being at my family home. My husband is in Shanghai sorting out his career and househunting. But this time it won’t be long. One month maximum (I hope).

My life is so tiring without him as he is the one who carries out baby at night when he cries. Now I have t do it all. We have a nanny but her use is limited to watching him while I have my meal, clean the room and baby’s clothes.

Back to the concern, now my baby refuse to sleep in his cot. The first night that his daddy gone was the worst so far. He was up every hour or 2. Now he is better but still needs to be in bed with me. I tried last night to put him to his cot again buut he only last till 2am, by which time I had to give in. He slept well otherwise in my bed.

There’s no point of me trying now as when we arrive in Shanghai we will have to wait for at least 2 weeks before his cot arrive. he will have to sleep with us until then anyway.

On a good note, he started his solid now 3 days ago, on Friday the 13th June to be exact. he seems to get the hang of it, I must say. A good start for a halthy life.

Oh and he poo every 5 days now which suppose to be normal. Just like his mummy!

Holiday and anniversary

urnn — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 03:32:27 +0000

We are going back to Bangkok for a few days, manly for my father’s surprise 72nd birthday anniversary. It is not excatly on his birthday bcause his birthday was back in February. But this is the only time when all the immediate and extended family come to Thailand. We will have it at the Oriental Hotel, in the Regency room. I can not wait to see his face. The only hope is that my son won’t start screaming in the middle of the party.

We planed it as though it is a military service. We will have a nurse aid to look after him at the party while my sister and I taking care of the guests before my dad arrives.

It is important tha my son is there eventhough at the time of the party he will be in his sleep….

One problem, what will I wear? I still have not lost a lot of weight at all…..

Control crying failure

urnn — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:52:04 +0000

After talking to the health visitor, I’m happy to say we quit the control ccrying and go back to the usual, one feed a night at 4am (which they said is rather good routine of my baby) and hold him to slee. What I do is to put him down when he almost goes to sleep then pat him to sleep. So basically he knows where he is sleeping and won’t get freakout when he wakes up at night.

I tried last night and heard him woke up at 1am but went back to sleep by himself without crying.

What an angel!

Baby massage

urnn — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:48:33 +0000

I attended the baby massage clasfor the first time this week. I was nervous days before the class. I fear that he will start screaming since he has been rather fussy with teething prolem last week.

In the end I went there…There were 5 of us in the class. He slept in the bab carrier when I arrived. Then he woke up…pretty ok. We all had to put the baby in front of us. Suddenly one baby screamed…no it wasn’t him thank goodness! This baby screamed for almost thewhole time and the poor mother was a little taken aback.

After a few minutesof crying, my baby began to panic and started crying for no reason. I think he is pretty sensitive to the surrounding and rather ‘unsure’ of the situation. So I had to hold him for the rest of the class. I will practice at home though.

Needless to say, afer my baby cried, others started crying too and it was a nightmare but somehow reassuring that others’ babies cry too…not just mine.

Andyes in comparison, I think I handled my baby rather well actually.

3 months old

urnn — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:40:05 +0000

At long last he reaches 3 months old smoothly although I’m not sue what I expected. In fact when I realised that he has reached 3 months was when he is almost 4 months already. He because fussy, drooling alot and cries a lot which is unlike him. I read on the internet and they said it’s a sign of teething…at 3 months???? He appears to be biting his fist a lot too.

So I bought a few teething toys which he ignores. Amazingly he was fine after a couple of days.

They ‘crazily’ we decided that we are going to do a ‘control crying’ so that he can go to sleep on his own without us carrying him for hours. Indeed he cried. We left him for 5 minutes then comfort him but he screamed even louder, we left until he was calmer then went in to comfort him. We kept doing this until he went to sleep, in tears.

It felt wrong to me so I call the health visitor. She said he is too young to do this. all we can do is to sit beside him and pat him to sleep. Poor thing! We are such an idiot parents. Now I’m worried if it has damage his phycological health!

The beginning of the third month

urnn — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 05:28:32 +0000

This is weird, he did not poo for almost 4 days. I was worrie. He treid to strain it out every morning though. I had enough, too him to the doctor because everytime he cried I think it must be somehow related on his constipation and could not concentrate on his ‘real’ demand at the time. The doctor seems not really alarm at all bau insert this horrifying jelly tube up his little bum. I almost screamed for him but guess what? He was ok with it and carried on smiling as if nothing happpened!!! That made me look rather silly in front of the doctor…again.

After that around 5 minutes, he started to pass the wind and poo big time….Well the poo was n’t that hugh but the SMELL is out of this world. The doctor gave this magically horrifying tube for me to take home in case it happens again….

And it did after 4 days we decided to stick it up his bum ourselves (I did) and again, no more that 5 minutes he started the whole process….

No we won’t make a habit of it. He needs to learn to poo by himself. So after about 5 days, in the morning, he woke up and started straining ashe does, I then put him in squat position to help him push and yes he did it!

I am sooo pround and never felt so happy seeing poo before in my life.

The second month of life

urnn — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 05:15:52 +0000

His second month sailed by wihout any problem. He learnt to look at me, smile at me and talk. He can recognise me now. I can play a little game with him and he would smile back, a smile that melt m heart every single time.

I took him to get vaccinated one day as it was due. This time I can hold him in my arms while the doctor and nurse gave him the needle work on both sides of his bum at the same time. He cried like hell. I felt so bad and had to breastfeed him right there to calm him down.

I don’t mind anymore, I can just breastfeed my son whereever I am.

Two months old

urnn — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:24:29 +0000

I finally learn how to put my son to bed and more we took him out in a pram some days too. But my mum wil go to Korea soon, I will be left with him from early march onwards.

I wasn’t nervous on the first day with him. It went well, I even took him out for a little and he was fine!

I gain more and more confident as the day goes by. He never let me down. What a good boy, goodlife I have…

Magic

urnn — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:19:26 +0000

My mum was amazed of my son’s change of behavior a bit. She thinks it’s the weather but I think he knows we are in a different place. But by lunch time she gradually built his confidence and started sleeping school for him successfully. I watched and learnt carefully. I immitate whatever she did to make him sleep and followed strictly. I wil succeed in making him slep. I am a mother I will succeed.